Memory loss

The power before the phone,

the ring before the tone,

the magic we shall atone,

our place within the throne.

These are the beat of the drums,

the swaying of our thumbs,

the lining of our tums,

filled with our ladies hums.

— end

While I Wait – Manchester Airport

So it’s Sunday late afternoon and I’m waiting in the busy arrivals lounge at Manchester Airport. I’m early so I’m sat facing a not so busy Boots shop, all I can see are rows and rows of products, sun tan lotion, hot water bottles (?!), travel pillows etc the usual ‘necessary’ products…

After 10 minutes or so I’m still waiting and I’m growing bored of the view, I want to see something more so I close my eyes. When I open them I see this…

A little dinosaur wanders past, wearing flip flops, oblivious to the paradise that has now blossomed in the shop, palm trees, butterflies, heliconia flowers and hibiscus flowers in full bloom, and all he’s concerned about is gorging on his cheese and tomato wrap!

What do you see while you wait?

How does waiting make you feel?

Waiting can sometimes be boring, it can be frustrating, it can stir up feelings of worry and anxiety, especially if you have somewhere to be.

This was a place that I used to find myself in quite regularly, until I learned to let go of the things that were beyond my control.  Learning to meditate helped this process. It enabled me to calm myself down while waiting, realising that there was nothing I could do to hurry the wait but clear my mind and avoid the worry thoughts that would inevitably kick start anxiety.

Always having a notebook and pen to hand helps. It allows an escape from the current ‘real life’ situation into that of my creative imagination, which in turn creates more creativity, rather than anxiety!


These images are the first of a series ‘While I Wait’, drawn while I wait. The one on the right was waiting in a boring, bland, soul less Doctors surgery, the other was drawn while I was sat waiting in non moving traffic for 2 hours.

I hope they inspire you to think about what you could be doing while you wait –  and allow you to focus on something that is good for your mind and your overall well-being.

Lost Self, Found Self

Lost Self by KNG
Words and sketch self portrait by KNG.

I always thought I was my self
Seems I was not
Nothing but a product of conformity
a people pleaser,
attention needer
wannabee over achiever

Never allowing my real hair to grow
Nor my natural pale skin to fully show
Trying to look right,
to be good,
to fit in
Craving excitement,
for new things to begin

Using words I didn’t fully understand
Pretending my life was so,
so grand
Chasing perfection,
wanting more,
to be admired,
to be accepted
to be adored

Gave out false admiration,
requited unwanted attention
in the name of affection,
fearful of neglection

Laughed and smiled
when I didn’t really want to
frowned and challenged
when I thought I was supposed to

Made up dreams of ideals
desperate to pursue
Out with the old,
in with the new

Slowly the light came on inside
from myself I could no longer hide
Laziness, naivety, the flaws undisguised
My raw self
unravelling before my eyes
soon came the courage to accept who I am,
without the tries, the bleach,
the smile and the tan.

My lack of knowledge confirmed each day
the pretence of my past slipping further away
My lazy, hazy, dreaming ways accepted,
My true self’s feelings
listened to,
not rejected.